It's been a while, but we're back!

I know it's been a long time since any of us posted anything, not that we don't have things worth posting, we're just really lazy. Also, Alex has been working on making us an awesome new page...with the power of FLASH! So look forward to that. Oh and we are now going to try keep up with our usual posts, like Quote of the Day,  and hopefully we'll make this a daily thing. 

Quote of the Day

Adam: You'd better not be looking up the theme song to "Doug"...if you are, turn it this way.

John: I used to watch "Doug" every day after school!

Adam: Me too! It always tripped me how Skeeter was green, I could never figure it out...

John: ...Skeeter was blue.

Adam: ...Maybe I just had a shitty-ass TV.

Me So Hungry

I'm hungry. Yesterday Sam and I watched The Late Late Show and it was funny. He told me a story that when he used to work at the library he had to chase a homeless drunk guy through the library with a flashlight and a stick. Haha..GREAT!

Geography Class

Geography class = BOORING. This crap is 2 hours long. Why did I take this class? Oh right... apparently Computers 1001 has a timing conflict with History.. soooo thats a no-go. So here I am, sitting in this room with like, 250 other people. 90% of whome are Engineers who are just taking this class to fill an arts credit. The first day the prof made a joke after she found out how many Engys there are in the class. She said "you guys know there is writing in this class right?" Which was funny.. I guess. I hate engineers.. with their "Math" and their "Bridges" and their "Structural Integrity"... JERKS!

On a nother note: I think that the prof has a strange desire to treat this class like a grade 2 class. She keeps telling us something, then asking us to discuss it with our neighbours. She then selects people to speak to the class about what they discussed. There are 200+ people here lady, I don't think anyone wants that.

There is NO ONE in this class that I know. ok CORRECTION* this is not completely true. There is this guy I know from highschool who is sitting one row in front of me at the other end of the row. He is in Architecture and can draw like a Fiend. Man his grade 10 tech film was fucking AWSOME! unfortunately I dont know him well enough to go sit there and talk to him. Oh well. I'm content to sit back here by one of the 4 electrical outlets in this room messing about on my computer.

UPDATE!: the guy next to me is asleep. I really hope the prof asks him something. Man if I thought for a second that I wouldn't get chosen to answer something I would nap the shit outta this class.

- My legs are getting really tired holding my laptop up. Made worse by the fact that the stupid pull-out desky-things are rediculusly small triangles that dont hold up my computer.

- I really wish I had my homeworld game here so I could play. I could mine some asteroids.... fight some sweet sweet space battles... all that good stuff.

- I hate conservative religious groups

- I just remembered this joke i heard. This guy took his brother on a vacation after a hard year working in the coal mines. They were going to florida, but when they reached the boarder the man was arrested for transporting a Miner across the border....

....

....

....

....

yeah its not that funny now that I think about it.

-Holy shit some kids were talking in class and the prof fucking pinpointed them out and quashed that verbal rebellion. "Fire the fun-crushing superlazer!" and boom! there goes Alder-fun.



I know! I just thought of it!







-Just noticed that half the chairs in this room are red, and half are blue. the blue are at the back and red at the front. SEGREGATION I SAY!

-Just a reminder... get scooters!

-The guy to the right of me is still asleep.

- 6:52..ug.... an hour left...

-I think I'm dying







































... because I've been eating shitty shitty caf food.

- I feel like doing some partying, too bad its wednsday. (fuck speeling Adam!)

- If I had to be any vegitable, I would be a turnip. How many people eat turnips? not that many that's how many! Haha! I win! FUCK YOU CARROTS!



- SPACE GOLD!



- So I just checked my slides and I'm about 40 slides behind... no joke.



-I'm done for now... gonna leave with a picture from my slides. retarted maps!






LATER DAYS!... great show..great show

My eye hurts, but now I know why.

I agree with Adam, I should get that checked out. However rather then endure the pain of finding a doctor in a city where I know of no doctors, and wait in line for the free clinic, I did what most people would do...Google it! Turns out that eye pain, such as mine, can be caused by lack of sleep an is often accompanied by headache. I also realized that I have not slept for more then 5 hours a night for the past week and a half. As well...the time I have been awake I've been pretty much staring at my computer screen non stop, or reading. So I'm off to have a nap. 

English class?

English class blows.

We've been here for an hour and a half.

John's eye hurts - I think he should get that checked out. 

John now tells me that we HAVEN'T been here for an hour and a half, we have an hour and a half LEFT. My mistake. Not a fan of this class. 

About half the class attends lecture, it's terrible. Less than half of THEM have read the book, which is worse. And less than half of THOSE are willing to discuss the novel. This leaves Robyn and the two older "students" at the front with some time to talk about Canadian literature while we all wish that Stalin's goons would rush into the room and Trotsky us in the back of the head with ice picks.

Megan is way too serious in this class. She's taking notes by hand.

Someone's cellphone is buzzing loudly on a hard surface every three minutes. Please answer your phone. Everybody knows that it's ringing, you don't need to pretend that it's not yours. Just man up and answer.

Also, it could just be a drill from next door or something, I don't know.

One hour, ten minutes left. John just googled "left eye hurts". He got over half a milion hits. Also, we just looked up "hobo" on Wikipedia.

Quote of the Day

The Dinner Special in the Caf today is: Turkey Schnitzel

Adam: What are you having for dinner?

Alex: I'm having a deep fried footprint!

Library Thoughts...rather then actually doing the work I came here to do...

2:10 - Time to get to work, I’ve got to finish this essay so I can start studying for my exams!

2:21 - The outlet for the computer cord is at a really awkward angle. Its like its sticking out into my line of vision and trying to invade my personal space. Although if it were on the floor I might step on it. Either way, not ok.

2:34 - Oh my God! The guy in front of me REALLY needs to stop sniffing. There should be a Library rule about that, maybe some sort of screening process for people with colds.

2:47 - Why would he use a mouse with a scroll that loud!? Seriously dude. Which leads me to think that there should be some sort of mouse muffler...maybe like a sock for a mouse.

3:25- I’m really thirsty but I don’t want to be that guy who makes a loud noise by opening my Nestea.

3:32 - They should have background music like a mall. Its like Friday night at a Nunnery in here. Seriously. (Also that would allow me to open my drink without all this fear!)

3:42 - Progress on essay: I would say about 8% done. I think this place closes at like 12. So I’ve got a ton of time to do this fo rizzle! No worries.

3:56 - Nestea opened successfully! That girl sneezed like 3 times giving me the chance to open it unnoticed... Muhahaha.

4:03 - There’s a book across from me that just says “Pee” on the cover.
(4:05 - Turns out it was “Poe”, as in Edgar Allen, its just a really olde book)

4:13 - MY CHAIR HAS WHEELS! Bricks have been shat.

4:17 - Chair with wheels is also very squeaky...not ok. Also! Idea for the next year at the house: Tivo! and separate snack/beer fridge located in the living room.

4:23 - no more accomplished. Watched Phantom of the Office again. FUCK DO YOUR WORK!

4:48 - Unable to locate bathroom. Stupid Nestea. 

5:03 - Defiantly bruised a rib last night. Note to self: cut down on partaying.

5:26 - What ever happened to Sum 41? They just died when that one dude started boning Avril Lavigne. 

5:40 - Hungry, essay...not close to finished... To the Caf!

Quote of the Day

Adam: Ok ok...on a scale of 1 to 10...how inappropriate would it be to watch porn at a high volume while he [his roommate] prays?

Me: 10.

Adam: Yeah...

Me: Actually, more like 30.

Laptop

So today I (the yellow dart) got my lappy back from the shop. The first thing I did: Check out this blog. I like it. It has the "yellow dart" seal of approval.

-Alex
AKA "The Yellow Dart"
AKA The Diddler
AKA Guestmeal

OUT!

Ketchup and Mustard...now all in one great product!

Alright, so hear me out on this. Adam has shot down this idea every time I try to bring it up so I'm putting it out here for the world to judge instead! So picture this, you sit down at the table, ready to enjoy a delicious meal of hot dogs or hamburgers or even pogos wrapped in bacon, and you decide (as any person with a taste for fine foods would) that you want both ketchup and mustard on your dish. Unfortunatly, they are on opposite ends of the table and you just know that there is going be no chance that you get to use them before your food gets cold. That why I have the idea of combining them into a single bottle! half ketchup, and half mustard! Then you can just get both at once, OR, if you dont want both then you can choose one or the other because it will have two lids! Still think it's a bad idea? We'll see when I'm rolling in millions from the patent on this! Unfortunatly I haven't thought of an appropriate name yet, seeing as "Custard" is taken... maybe Ketchsturd? Also, look for my newest creation! Mayosturd! Next step: combining different several types of seafood into one! 

Yes we have a blog!

Oh Sal-Train. I have to agree with Adam, Sal is the worst, or as I like to call him Papa-Sal. It seems like everyone's experience with this guy have been horrible. In my case within five minutes of meeting him I had been asked for numerous favours. I wish I could help him out, but I don't have a car to take him to town with, and I can't go to India to get him an adapter. Anywho, on to the blog, I'm starting a new section, what I like to call, "Why would you eat that!?" Today's horror involving Alex (aka The Yellow Dart) and his creation, the bacon-wrapped Pogo. Sure to be a hit among all obese people everywhere, and a favourite in triple-bypass wards!

Adam's in the university centre - January 6th

This might be a common theme (Adam in the university centre), because my roommate has taken over my dorm room's internet connection and, as a result, I have to come to the UC for wireless internet connection. The picture you see above is of the creepy fellow about 30 feet to my right, who has had his laptop turned away from the rest of the world and has been smiling to himself the whole time he's been sitting there. I managed to snap this picture on my computer ;). 

Before I go on about what's happening in the UC, I'm going to rant about my roommate.

For the whole first semester (save the first two weeks I was in res) I basically lived in a double room by myself. My old roommate - let's call him..."Tim" - was never around and, I later learned, took up residence off-campus. He left in his wake loads of dirty laundry, half-finished water bottles, half-eaten food and a collage of pictures involving him and a baby, which we were sure was his. Anyway, living alone has its perks - you can do whatever you want when you want, there's no need to be too too neat or clean, and when you actually want or need to do work you have a quiet place to do it. I took it for granted.

I moved back in on Saturday (Jan. 3) for the winter term, and found that I had a new roommate. He seemed like a pretty cool guy. We're going to call him "the Sal-train"...a play on words and a pop culture reference. Sal-train is from the Middle East, which I have no problem with, but the way he goes about things irritates me. For example, Sal-train ruined my internet connection the first NIGHT we were together, barely even two hours into his stay, in the process of taking my ethernet cable out of its port and putting it in the port on his side to see if it still worked. Obviously it still works, the fucking cables are still there. He does not understand that it doesn't matter which outlet you select to plug something into in a room. All of the outlets are the same and work perfectly. Well actually, my ethernet outlet no longer works - he damaged the port when he recklessly ripped the cable out of the outlet not after he asked me, but WHILE he asked me if he could try it. I love the internet, and my internet access is now dependent on Sal-train sleeping or a walk to the UC. My respect for him decreased immediately.

Sunday morning he woke me up at 8:00 AM ("Time to get up Mr. Adam!") and took me on a five-plus hour excursion to South Keyes (several times) and around the campus. I consider myself to be a nice and helpful person, but even for a best friend this would be over-stepping the bounds of one's friendship. His inability to do anything himself extends past simple tasks like eating himself or going to class himself - he asks me (and my comrades) to do things for him...things he should do himself. For example, I am forced to look at his registration documents, put keys on his keychain, etc. He gets ridiculously upset if I don't.

I'll rant more about my roommate later - we already have plans to "derail the Sal-train" - but I want to make five or six quick observations about the UC while I'm here.

- there are a lot of attractive women at university

- there are a lot of people wearing sweaters at university

- half the students are using either a laptop, cellphone or iPod at any given time

- 1 in 4 students has a coffee in their hand at any given time

and...

- you know a professor is important by the length of his beard (longer or bushier the better), the thickness of his glasses (thicker the better), the pigment of said beard (the whiter the better - additionally any professor without a beard is subject to investigation) and the pace of their walk. 

This, interestingly enough, works in two ways. A prof. who walks incredibly fast, as if to say, "My morning cup of coffee is more important than your education" is beyond a doubt very important, otherwise he would not need to rush to an important meeting. However, a professor who walks slowly and deliberately, as if to say, "Where I am going, they [and the rest of the world] will simply have to wait for me because without me, they and you will be lost" is equally if not more important.

That's all for now. I came here an hour ago to get my history reading off the internet and I've done nothing but check my facebook and listen to ABBA. If you're reading this, yes John you can borrow my "Atlantic Lives" book for the reading tonight. Peace out.

Welcome to the Co-operation Station!

Oh hay thar.

This blog is dedicated to the comedic and philosophical contributions made by the three authors to society. Our three authors are Adam, Alex, and John - three first year university students. Adam has been laden with the task of writing the introductory post

, but only after John tried (and failed) to do so and his intellect perished in the attempt. There really isn't much else to say, we come up with some funny stuff and we'd like to have a record of it that others can see and read.

This introduction is getting worse and worse as I go on, so I'll stop now and write my first actual entry.