Quote of the Day

The Dinner Special in the Caf today is: Turkey Schnitzel

Adam: What are you having for dinner?

Alex: I'm having a deep fried footprint!

Library Thoughts...rather then actually doing the work I came here to do...

2:10 - Time to get to work, I’ve got to finish this essay so I can start studying for my exams!

2:21 - The outlet for the computer cord is at a really awkward angle. Its like its sticking out into my line of vision and trying to invade my personal space. Although if it were on the floor I might step on it. Either way, not ok.

2:34 - Oh my God! The guy in front of me REALLY needs to stop sniffing. There should be a Library rule about that, maybe some sort of screening process for people with colds.

2:47 - Why would he use a mouse with a scroll that loud!? Seriously dude. Which leads me to think that there should be some sort of mouse muffler...maybe like a sock for a mouse.

3:25- I’m really thirsty but I don’t want to be that guy who makes a loud noise by opening my Nestea.

3:32 - They should have background music like a mall. Its like Friday night at a Nunnery in here. Seriously. (Also that would allow me to open my drink without all this fear!)

3:42 - Progress on essay: I would say about 8% done. I think this place closes at like 12. So I’ve got a ton of time to do this fo rizzle! No worries.

3:56 - Nestea opened successfully! That girl sneezed like 3 times giving me the chance to open it unnoticed... Muhahaha.

4:03 - There’s a book across from me that just says “Pee” on the cover.
(4:05 - Turns out it was “Poe”, as in Edgar Allen, its just a really olde book)

4:13 - MY CHAIR HAS WHEELS! Bricks have been shat.

4:17 - Chair with wheels is also very squeaky...not ok. Also! Idea for the next year at the house: Tivo! and separate snack/beer fridge located in the living room.

4:23 - no more accomplished. Watched Phantom of the Office again. FUCK DO YOUR WORK!

4:48 - Unable to locate bathroom. Stupid Nestea. 

5:03 - Defiantly bruised a rib last night. Note to self: cut down on partaying.

5:26 - What ever happened to Sum 41? They just died when that one dude started boning Avril Lavigne. 

5:40 - Hungry, essay...not close to finished... To the Caf!

Quote of the Day

Adam: Ok ok...on a scale of 1 to 10...how inappropriate would it be to watch porn at a high volume while he [his roommate] prays?

Me: 10.

Adam: Yeah...

Me: Actually, more like 30.

Laptop

So today I (the yellow dart) got my lappy back from the shop. The first thing I did: Check out this blog. I like it. It has the "yellow dart" seal of approval.

-Alex
AKA "The Yellow Dart"
AKA The Diddler
AKA Guestmeal

OUT!

Ketchup and Mustard...now all in one great product!

Alright, so hear me out on this. Adam has shot down this idea every time I try to bring it up so I'm putting it out here for the world to judge instead! So picture this, you sit down at the table, ready to enjoy a delicious meal of hot dogs or hamburgers or even pogos wrapped in bacon, and you decide (as any person with a taste for fine foods would) that you want both ketchup and mustard on your dish. Unfortunatly, they are on opposite ends of the table and you just know that there is going be no chance that you get to use them before your food gets cold. That why I have the idea of combining them into a single bottle! half ketchup, and half mustard! Then you can just get both at once, OR, if you dont want both then you can choose one or the other because it will have two lids! Still think it's a bad idea? We'll see when I'm rolling in millions from the patent on this! Unfortunatly I haven't thought of an appropriate name yet, seeing as "Custard" is taken... maybe Ketchsturd? Also, look for my newest creation! Mayosturd! Next step: combining different several types of seafood into one! 

Yes we have a blog!

Oh Sal-Train. I have to agree with Adam, Sal is the worst, or as I like to call him Papa-Sal. It seems like everyone's experience with this guy have been horrible. In my case within five minutes of meeting him I had been asked for numerous favours. I wish I could help him out, but I don't have a car to take him to town with, and I can't go to India to get him an adapter. Anywho, on to the blog, I'm starting a new section, what I like to call, "Why would you eat that!?" Today's horror involving Alex (aka The Yellow Dart) and his creation, the bacon-wrapped Pogo. Sure to be a hit among all obese people everywhere, and a favourite in triple-bypass wards!

Adam's in the university centre - January 6th

This might be a common theme (Adam in the university centre), because my roommate has taken over my dorm room's internet connection and, as a result, I have to come to the UC for wireless internet connection. The picture you see above is of the creepy fellow about 30 feet to my right, who has had his laptop turned away from the rest of the world and has been smiling to himself the whole time he's been sitting there. I managed to snap this picture on my computer ;). 

Before I go on about what's happening in the UC, I'm going to rant about my roommate.

For the whole first semester (save the first two weeks I was in res) I basically lived in a double room by myself. My old roommate - let's call him..."Tim" - was never around and, I later learned, took up residence off-campus. He left in his wake loads of dirty laundry, half-finished water bottles, half-eaten food and a collage of pictures involving him and a baby, which we were sure was his. Anyway, living alone has its perks - you can do whatever you want when you want, there's no need to be too too neat or clean, and when you actually want or need to do work you have a quiet place to do it. I took it for granted.

I moved back in on Saturday (Jan. 3) for the winter term, and found that I had a new roommate. He seemed like a pretty cool guy. We're going to call him "the Sal-train"...a play on words and a pop culture reference. Sal-train is from the Middle East, which I have no problem with, but the way he goes about things irritates me. For example, Sal-train ruined my internet connection the first NIGHT we were together, barely even two hours into his stay, in the process of taking my ethernet cable out of its port and putting it in the port on his side to see if it still worked. Obviously it still works, the fucking cables are still there. He does not understand that it doesn't matter which outlet you select to plug something into in a room. All of the outlets are the same and work perfectly. Well actually, my ethernet outlet no longer works - he damaged the port when he recklessly ripped the cable out of the outlet not after he asked me, but WHILE he asked me if he could try it. I love the internet, and my internet access is now dependent on Sal-train sleeping or a walk to the UC. My respect for him decreased immediately.

Sunday morning he woke me up at 8:00 AM ("Time to get up Mr. Adam!") and took me on a five-plus hour excursion to South Keyes (several times) and around the campus. I consider myself to be a nice and helpful person, but even for a best friend this would be over-stepping the bounds of one's friendship. His inability to do anything himself extends past simple tasks like eating himself or going to class himself - he asks me (and my comrades) to do things for him...things he should do himself. For example, I am forced to look at his registration documents, put keys on his keychain, etc. He gets ridiculously upset if I don't.

I'll rant more about my roommate later - we already have plans to "derail the Sal-train" - but I want to make five or six quick observations about the UC while I'm here.

- there are a lot of attractive women at university

- there are a lot of people wearing sweaters at university

- half the students are using either a laptop, cellphone or iPod at any given time

- 1 in 4 students has a coffee in their hand at any given time

and...

- you know a professor is important by the length of his beard (longer or bushier the better), the thickness of his glasses (thicker the better), the pigment of said beard (the whiter the better - additionally any professor without a beard is subject to investigation) and the pace of their walk. 

This, interestingly enough, works in two ways. A prof. who walks incredibly fast, as if to say, "My morning cup of coffee is more important than your education" is beyond a doubt very important, otherwise he would not need to rush to an important meeting. However, a professor who walks slowly and deliberately, as if to say, "Where I am going, they [and the rest of the world] will simply have to wait for me because without me, they and you will be lost" is equally if not more important.

That's all for now. I came here an hour ago to get my history reading off the internet and I've done nothing but check my facebook and listen to ABBA. If you're reading this, yes John you can borrow my "Atlantic Lives" book for the reading tonight. Peace out.

Welcome to the Co-operation Station!

Oh hay thar.

This blog is dedicated to the comedic and philosophical contributions made by the three authors to society. Our three authors are Adam, Alex, and John - three first year university students. Adam has been laden with the task of writing the introductory post

, but only after John tried (and failed) to do so and his intellect perished in the attempt. There really isn't much else to say, we come up with some funny stuff and we'd like to have a record of it that others can see and read.

This introduction is getting worse and worse as I go on, so I'll stop now and write my first actual entry.